Release

Feeling vexed
uncomfortably numb
I indulge each lie,
grey I become.
Readily ornate
reach into my game
developing grief,
advertise and feign.

The blanket of life
leaves me confused
changing each fact
rudely I peruse.
The clarity hits
panic turns to fear
this might be it
the hope to feel.

Unquelled hate
against the exposed
no purpose I sate
loyalty unknown.
Conditional love
unwavering pain
pure and unbeatable,
sufference never wanes.

Evil in many forms
hate to grin in joy
I shake my head
a second hand ploy.
Here I hang, aged,
return to sweet sleep
I can never fathom
the disdain for me.

Bonds are broken
my time is up
my words and second thought
never to forget.
Friends again it seems
makes me behave
she is my lady
I am her slave.

I now gently heal
nothing retained
once it was real
two weeks in vain.
Suffering for years
at the hands of many
trusted by peers
a deep sense of irony.

Fighting for life
no one to tell
a tale for a book
many years it took.
He wore a clown face
killed my pets
its a compulsion
never to forget.

Ten years ago
the universe split in two
in one I lived on,
the other died sordidly.
Drugged tossed aside
could not relax
bonds all broken
never a surprise.

Many days waiting
many hours dreaming
until it became
all one existance.
In the end, I couldn’t tell
the difference
as a tale of turmoil is told.
Here inside,
is a lesson of old.