I can see your piercing eyes seeing through my lies trying to deny what its telling me; time to leave the weight of my life. I can feel suffocating love too far above deafening warmth, love exists but its too much risk, crumbles and twists. I can sense feelings forgotten, leaving abrupt, internal. Wish it was different I know it's my cost, the landing lost. I can wish a different agony worn as reality my reason for being a new song, a life. Forever I yearn to breath and belong.
Tag Archives: addiction recovery
Evanescance
For a dislocated moment it seems we have it connections and wordless conversations. Say the right thing, I would do anything to have it over and over electricity; you and me. I know this dream certainly real to me for only a short time, as brief as it was I still steal a stimulating glimpse, a second of reality biting at me; you and me. Please never say it I do not want to hear, if I do it becomes so real, there is no denial of course I will accept it its how things progress, stay near each other; you and me.
Stranded
Lamenting but unaffected I peer into illusions of life; a sea of nothing. The past drops into reality bit by bit exhausted fragility my life the crux of it. I chip away at failure lying again, even closer ending up sceptical between each beat the tonal depths throws me I think. Will someone see? What HELP is afforded to ME! Between the lines I see the shelf I hope I'm fine, my fragile health.
Searching
The thought of you
clouded my purpose,
I lose the moment
and the pain resurfaces.
Between the cracks
of the purest love,
my disease hunts
for the cut above.
It sends me back
to pain once held,
sends me forward
to the future’s fold.
Fantasies of outcomes
and distant presumptions,
when the illusion shatters
there is no salvation.
I’m lost with emptiness
my disease is unchecked,
a dream I once held
ends in spiritual death.
When I lose control
reality begins to hurt,
in a desperate attempt
I try to cure the curse.
But the answer is inside me
the past and future, gone,
I’m living for reality
and the universe in song.
Powerless
I cannot turn the tide
or the moon that affects it,
I can’t stop the Earth from spinning
or its eliptical trajectory.
I cannot turn the stars black
or the gas clouds that create them,
I can’t bring the dead back to life
or stop the sadness, for them.
I cannot change how people feel
or how the heart wants more,
I can’t alter the time that passes
or the futures endless progress.
I was so lost for so long
I didn’t want to be around,
it was all a bit of a falsehood
I was powerless to resist.
I Love You/ Death of Ego
My inherent selfishness
brought me to my knees,
my fear of life,
killed me with ease.
Vivid fantasies
to escape reality,
yearning for isolation
nurtured my fragility.
A wandering mind
lost in time,
a consumerate world
to which i’m sold.
An unknown future
out of my control,
A need for escape
has taken its toll.
Has my addiction
used you all along?
To trip me up
when it all goes wrong.
To chew me up
and spit me out,
so I pick up?
I have no doubt.
I sit in pain
around you and I,
illusions of the future
intead of you and I.
Insecurity, rejection,
I spiritually die.
The reality could kill me;
I would rather live a lie.
Backed into a corner
do I have to let go?
I am yearning the love
but have nothing to show;
but to live in the moment
and reliquish control,
to gain acceptance
for the sake of my soul.
I love you dearly
and without my addiction,
I have a beautiful friend,
the pain won’t afflict me.
Nothing bad happens
I stand on my feet,
there was nothing to gain,
I suffer no defeat.
The death of ego,
the birth of ‘I am’,
the noise in my head
a nurtured drama.
Love has no conditions,
it tells no lies,
its being in the moment
just you and I.
