Raison D’ĂȘtre

I can see
your piercing eyes
seeing through my lies
trying to deny
what its telling me;
time to leave 
the weight of my life.

I can feel
suffocating love
too far above
deafening warmth,
love exists
but its too much risk,
crumbles and twists.

I can sense
forgotten, leaving
abrupt, internal.
Wish it was different
I know it's my cost,
the landing lost.

I can wish
a different agony
worn as reality
my reason for being
a new song, a life.
Forever I yearn
to breath and belong.


For a dislocated moment
it seems we have it
connections and
wordless conversations.
Say the right thing,
I would do anything
to have it over and over
you and me.

I know this dream
certainly real to me
for only a short time,
as brief as it was
I still steal
a stimulating glimpse,
a second of reality
biting at me;
you and me.

Please never say it
I do not want to hear,
if I do
it becomes so real,
there is no denial
of course I will accept it
its how things progress,
stay near each other;
you and me.


Lamenting but unaffected
I peer into illusions of life;
a sea of nothing.
The past drops into reality
bit by bit
exhausted fragility
my life the crux of it.

I chip away at failure
lying again, even closer
ending up sceptical
between each beat
the tonal depths
throws me I think.

Will someone see?
What HELP is
afforded to ME!
Between the lines 
I see the shelf
I hope I'm fine,
my fragile health.


The thought of you
clouded my purpose,
I lose the moment
and the pain resurfaces.

Between the cracks
of the purest love,
my disease hunts
for the cut above.

It sends me back
to pain once held,
sends me forward
to the future’s fold.

Fantasies of outcomes
and distant presumptions,
when the illusion shatters
there is no salvation.

I’m lost with emptiness
my disease is unchecked,
a dream I once held
ends in spiritual death.

When I lose control
reality begins to hurt,
in a desperate attempt
I try to cure the curse.

But the answer is inside me
the past and future, gone,
I’m living for reality
and the universe in song.


I cannot turn the tide
or the moon that affects it,
I can’t stop the Earth from spinning
or its eliptical trajectory.

I cannot turn the stars black
or the gas clouds that create them,
I can’t bring the dead back to life
or stop the sadness, for them.

I cannot change how people feel
or how the heart wants more,
I can’t alter the time that passes
or the futures endless progress.

I was so lost for so long
I didn’t want to be around,
it was all a bit of a falsehood
I was powerless to resist.

I Love You/ Death of Ego

My inherent selfishness
brought me to my knees,
my fear of life,
killed me with ease.
Vivid fantasies
to escape reality,
yearning for isolation
nurtured my fragility.

A wandering mind
lost in time,
a consumerate world
to which i’m sold.
An unknown future
out of my control,
A need for escape
has taken its toll.

Has my addiction
used you all along?
To trip me up
when it all goes wrong.
To chew me up
and spit me out,
so I pick up?
I have no doubt.

I sit in pain
around you and I,
illusions of the future
intead of you and I.
Insecurity, rejection,
I spiritually die.
The reality could kill me;
I would rather live a lie.

Backed into a corner
do I have to let go?
I am yearning the love
but have nothing to show;
but to live in the moment
and reliquish control,
to gain acceptance
for the sake of my soul.

I love you dearly
and without my addiction,
I have a beautiful friend,
the pain won’t afflict me.
Nothing bad happens
I stand on my feet,
there was nothing to gain,
I suffer no defeat.

The death of ego,
the birth of ‘I am’,
the noise in my head
a nurtured drama.
Love has no conditions,
it tells no lies,
its being in the moment
just you and I.