This Mortal Vessel

The insane brain
acts out a
forced majeure,
to escape
its turbulent pain,
as it yearns
for the divine.

To turn off the particle
and contain the membrane;
I return it to God,
I have my definitive existance.

I think,
therefore I’m insane.
I am,
therefore I’m death.
I am dead,
therefore I’m reborn.
I prayed,
but never went away.

I alight into
a half fuelled fantasy
of a perfect night
knowing the
lust would leave
an emptiness
and nothing is fixed.

I feel less than
for more than usual,
I cannot excuse
the anger for you,
directed past you,
as I’m abandoned
on the high shelf.

I cast out ideas
of love unconditional
and I loath
this very vessel,
the very instant
I found you,
created you
from nothing; into
full view.

I Love You/ Death of Ego

My inherent selfishness
brought me to my knees,
my fear of life,
killed me with ease.
Vivid fantasies
to escape reality,
yearning for isolation
nurtured my fragility.

A wandering mind
lost in time,
a consumerate world
to which i’m sold.
An unknown future
out of my control,
A need for escape
has taken its toll.

Has my addiction
used you all along?
To trip me up
when it all goes wrong.
To chew me up
and spit me out,
so I pick up?
I have no doubt.

I sit in pain
around you and I,
illusions of the future
intead of you and I.
Insecurity, rejection,
I spiritually die.
The reality could kill me;
I would rather live a lie.

Backed into a corner
do I have to let go?
I am yearning the love
but have nothing to show;
but to live in the moment
and reliquish control,
to gain acceptance
for the sake of my soul.

I love you dearly
and without my addiction,
I have a beautiful friend,
the pain won’t afflict me.
Nothing bad happens
I stand on my feet,
there was nothing to gain,
I suffer no defeat.

The death of ego,
the birth of ‘I am’,
the noise in my head
a nurtured drama.
Love has no conditions,
it tells no lies,
its being in the moment
just you and I.